


Letters Unsent

by bellasgonemissing



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Harry Potter - Freeform, James Potter - Freeform, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, POV Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew - Freeform, Short Chapters, Side Relationships - Freeform, jily, multi-chapter, not evil peter pettigrew, remus lupin - Freeform, sirius black - Freeform, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:07:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellasgonemissing/pseuds/bellasgonemissing
Summary: Remus Lupin writes letters the other Marauders over the course of his seven years at Hogwarts.  He never intends for them to see them as he recounts the struggle of being a teenage werewolf and finding friends in a world that is against him.





	1. Trains and Feasts

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Marauders fanfiction! It's going to follow Remus (and the other Marauders of course) through all his years at Hogwarts and maybe a little bit after too. Hope you like it!

September 1st 1971  
To James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew  
I have no intention of any you actually seeing these letters but I am hoping that they will act as a kind of, for lack of a better word, diary. I have so many thoughts whirling through my head and it is only the first day. I think it is only appropriate to put them all on parchment, perhaps then they will stop bothering me.  
I can think of only one time in my life I was as scared as when I was standing on the platform to board the Hogwarts Express. My house is the only place I can truly feel safe and surely living with you all 24/7, you will find me out eventually, and who knows what will happen then? I was terrified that everyone would see there is something different about me and never want to be my friend, which is why I must thank you for graciously allowing me to sit with in your compartment today. I have never really had any friends before, not necessarily because of my… condition, I think they just found me annoying because I wanted to read when they wanted to play games and I corrected their grammar extremely often (it’s not my fault children don’t know when it’s appropriate to use commas!). I didn’t have very high hopes that this would be any different at Hogwarts.  
I think you must have only put up with sitting with you because of all the Chocolate Frogs I bought from the trolley witch. Perhaps I can bribe you all into staying my friends through chocolate, any plan involving chocolate is sure to work out. I suppose now you’re going have to stand having me around me for another seven years. To think we’re going to be living with each other for the next seven years of our lives! I barely even know you all! I don’t expect you to actually become friends with me of course and I hope you don’t feel any obligation to be friends with me because we’re sharing a dormitory, I’m not worth that.  
So I guess I should tell you my first impressions and all that. I don’t really believe that first impressions are all that important but you four sure did make some.  
James you were so confident all over, about being in Gryffindor, about starting at Hogwarts and doing well in all your classes. I think that some of that may have been a façade though. Being part of a long line of purebloods must be a lot of pressure and even I have heard of your father’s hair potions. I don’t think that any eleven year old could be that confident about starting at a new school and leaving the comfort of his parents. You and Sirius were already getting on like a house on fire, despite having met not even twenty minutes earlier. I wish I could find someone like that. Someone I could just click with.  
Sirius, I found myself surprised to get along with you so well if I’m being honest. I think your enthusiasm for everything you talked about was what made me like you so much. I can see that you put up an air of carelessness but I can already tell that if anything were to happen to James you would care very much. I could just be being presumptuous though, I’ve only known you for a couple of hours! I must admit that I found myself oddly drawn to you. You, unlike James, had absolutely no hesitance about starting at Hogwarts, hidden or not. You seemed overjoyed to be leaving your family behind, something that I myself cannot relate to. I can already see that you are feeling completely comfortable here. From the way you acted at the feast, it is as if you’ve lived here your whole life.  
Peter, you seemed to radiate an air of nervousness, I get the impression James and Sirius intimidate you a bit, which isn’t surprising. I think they would intimidate a lot of people. You’re funny though. The few sentences that did come out of your mouth had me grinning, too embarrassed to actually laugh. James and Sirius do seem to really like you though, I think you doubt yourself too much  
I am actually extremely surprised I am able to share a dormitory with you at all. I was sure I was going to be in Slytherin, that’s where people like me should be, or maybe if I was very lucky I would be Ravenclaw, I hope that all those annoying grammar lessons would get me somewhere. But Gryffindor! That was the last place I expected to be sorted into. I am the least brave person possibly ever, you all seem so… boisterous, so ready to put yourselves out there. I’m not. I’m always so scared, of the world and what it could do to me, and of myself. Surely someone who is scared of themselves could not possibly be a Gryffindor. I worry that I just wished myself here and I will not live up to the Gryffindor name. The applause that erupted from the Gryffindor table when the Hat announced its decision was incredible though and for a second it made me forget all those anxieties.  
Sirius you told me on the train you were also fearful that you would be placed in Slytherin, said your whole family were Slytherins. I hope it wouldn’t offend you to say that your family sounds sort of awful, I’m very glad you weren’t put in the Slytherin. I think you make an excellent Gryffindor and you don’t need to live up to whatever pressures your family has put on you.  
The start of term feast was even better than I could have possibly imagined. I think the three of you probably thought so too, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone eat that fast, it was like the food was disapparating! (I’ve been reading up on Apparation and Disapparition and it is an extremely interesting and efficient method of travel, I can’t wait until we’re old enough to take lessons)  
Our other dorm mate, Frank, seems very nice as well, I hope we don’t annoy him too much although I am already beginning to think that that may be a lost cause, and it’s only the first night! What have I gotten myself into?


	2. Potions and Exploding Snap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus tries to get through his first day of classes

September 2nd 1971  
To James, Sirius and Peter  
To my surprise, you were all still friendly to me this morning. I thought that must have been the high of the first day at Hogwarts but apparently not. I probably just haven’t had time to make you annoyed with me yet. I slept badly last night, not able to sleep for nerves about today’s classes. I almost certainly be terrible in all my classes, plus I will fall behind, as I will have to spend a large amount of time in the hospital wing. Could non-humans even do magic? What if I kept waving and waving my wand but nothing happened? All through breakfast, I became sure that it must have been a mistake, me coming here. I would be shipped back home straight away once the realised creatures cannot do magic. These thoughts, however, were put on hold by the arrival of the post. It was one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen. Of course, my father had told me all about the hundreds of owls that drop the students’ post to them every morning but it was so much better to see it in person. There was a letter from my parents, carried by the family owl, telling me how proud they are that I made it into Gryffindor, do I have nice boys in my dormitory? Have I made friends with them? Along with the letter, they sent a block of chocolate, knowing that I can’t go without one for over a day.  
Perhaps almost as amazing than the post was the fact that you let me sit with you again at breakfast, engaging me in conversation like a normal human and letting me in to the planning of your very first prank which you assured me was going to go down in Hogwarts history. I promise I will go to the library tomorrow and see if I can find any spell books that might help you. I can’t wait to see the library, I’ve heard it has thousands and thousands of books on every subject you could imagine.  
Our first class was transfiguration, which we had with the Ravenclaws. I can’t believe we managed to get lost on the way to class so quickly, and to make it even harder, there are so many passages that disappear from one day to the next and the stairs are always moving. We really need some kind of map to keep track of all the rooms in this place.  
I found Professor Mcgonagall to actually be quite likable, I know you were all saying afterwards that she was too strict and scary but I think she could be very kind when she wants to be. She is a very good teacher as well, by the end of the class my teacup was very nearly a rat, only half the tail was missing. James and Sirius, you also seemed to excel, despite the fact that it didn’t even look like were trying at all. You spent the majority of the lesson trying to work out if you could change one of the Ravenclaw girls into a rat instead. I can’t believe Mcgonagall assigned us so much homework on the first day though! I’ve finished mine already so Peter, I promise I will help you with yours tomorrow.  
Potions didn’t go quite so well. Professor Slughorn is a very cheery man, although he does seem to pick favourites and it doesn’t look like I’ll be one of those. I don’t know why my cure for boils turned out purple instead of green! Slughorn did seem to take a liking to one of the Gryffindor girls, Lily Evans, which was surprising as most of his favourite students are from his own house, Slytherin. There was one particular Slytherin that we all seemed to take a disliking to immediately. S. Snape was the name I saw scrawled in untidy handwriting on his notebook, which he seemed to have already filled up pages of. I swear I could see literal grease marks on some of the pages from his hair. He has an air of thinking he is better than everyone else and practically sneered at everyone who tried to talk to him. I know I shouldn’t judge a person completely from first impressions though. I will give him a chance; I can’t hate him before I’ve even talked to him. I don’t think you were quite so accommodating. James I think you need to stop talking about all the ways you want to sabotage him, preferably by poison.  
Slughorn once again, gave us copious amounts of homework but I found I didn’t mind doing it too much, sitting in from of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, surrounded by books for all my lessons (and some that weren’t for school). The rest of you attempted to study but were forced play exploding snap because ‘Remus I am literally dying! This is torture!’ It’s only the first day for goodness sake! I don’t know how you four are going to cope with the next seven years.


	3. Slytherins and Lycanthropy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus deals with his first transformations of the year and some very low self esteem

September 6th 1971   
James, Sirius, Peter  
The first week of classes continued to run rather smoothly. I got to see the library which was incredible, I don’t think I’ve seen so many books in my entire life and on every subject I can think of! I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible there over the past week, even just the feel of it makes me safe. I love the smell of books and the sounds of the pages turning. I think I could very easily live there. Unfortunately, on one of the afternoons that I was curled up in the library with a big book on the magical creatures of Ireland, some Slytherins who seemed to hold some very prejudiced grudges decided to take them out on me. I guess I just seem easy to pick on. It probably doesn’t help my popularity always being huddled up in the library and not talking to many people. Being small makes me a pretty good target as well. As you now know, the group of Slytherins found me and began taunting me for being in Gryffindor. I think Snape was one of them. They started shoving me and yelling other insults, telling me I’m weak and horrible and can’t even say anything to them, I’m a lunatic. I think I always expected people to not like me and be mean to me so I didn’t pay much attention. The three of you did though. I looked up from my book to see the three of you shoving the gang away, telling them to get a life and that I’m awesome for being a Gryffindor. I will thank you again for that, even though you insist that it was absolutely fine and you would take any opportunity to insult Slytherins anyway. I just don’t understand why you did it? Possibly just Gryffindor solidarity but I can’t understand how anyone could care enough to do anything like that for me. Thank you. Again.  
That little incident was nothing though, compared to what else happened this week. It was my first transformation of the school year last night. I had to go to Dumbledore’s office yesterday and he told me how they had made a secret passage in the grounds to a safe place for me to transform. I still find it unbelievable that they would even let me into the school, let alone provide me with a whole house to change in. Dumbledore was so kind to me and explain how everything would work in such a calm way I had to trust him. I got pretty scratched up from the branches of the Whomping Willow trying to get to the entrance but that was nothing to the excruciating pain of the transformation. Of course I am used to it by now but that doesn’t stop it from hurting like hell. The Shrieking Shack was terrible. It smelt like a corpse and the wooden boards in the floors and walls were all bashed in. There was a scratchy little bed that I lay on to start the transformation. It was especially bad this time because I was in a new place and the wolf wasn’t used to it. It was small and the already dingy little room looked even worse once it was finished. I of course couldn’t tell you anything about my time as a wolf. I don’t have any control over my mind. It isn’t mine. Sometimes it all just feels like a sick dream because I feel as if I couldn’t possibly become that monster on a regular basis. Maybe my whole life is just one big, sick dream. I just wish I didn’t have to do this alone.  
I am so, so exhausted now, even after sleeping in all morning. My bones still feel broken from when they cracked themselves into a different shape. My blood is still boiling from the adrenaline of trying to hunt for prey. My mouth is still bitter from the taste of blood and my throat still wrecked from the growling and howling of last night. And of course I woke with many new wounds which will soon melt into scars. Just a couple more to join the hundreds already littering my broken body. I hate it. I cannot stand to look at my disgusting, shattered form.  
Of course, Madam Pomfrey did her best to patch me up but she’s never dealt with my condition before and it is hard to heal so many deep-set scars. She said I’ll have to be spending a lot of time in the hospital wing. I hope I won’t miss too many classes. I already feel behind even though I’ve been studying every spare second this week. I guess I’m worried they’ll kick me out if I don’t prove myself, realise they never should have let a dark creature like me into a school.  
I think you may have noticed how lethargic I have been today. I wish you would stop worrying, especially you, Sirius. You really don’t have to keep sending me anxious glances every thirty seconds. Nothing is going to have changed. I’m still going to be a tired, worn down monster no matter how many times you look at me.  
Oh I think I may have neglected to mention that I suffer from lycanthropy. I’m a werewolf. Although of course you could never know that. I would be reported to the Ministry immediately if anyone found out. They would torture me. Kill me. That’s why I’m never actually going to give you any of these letters. I have too many secrets to keep and I don’t think I could bear, you, the people who I think may very possibly kind of like me a little bit, knowing that I’m the freak that I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin has literally 0 self esteem I'm sorry


	4. Friends and Tranfiguration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The marauders plan their first prank and Remus makes a friend

September 21st 1971   
James, Peter, Sirius   
The three of seemed to have already gained some popularity around here within the past few weeks, James and Sirius especially (sorry Peter) I think I’ve witnessed you being asked out about six times just in the past week. I don’t know what it is you’ve done to gain so much attention, although I’m sure you would try to convince that it’s just your natural good looks and charm. Maybe it’s something to do with your very well-known families as well. I think a downside of actually being friends with you would be the gaggle of other first years (and a few second years) who always seemed to whisper about you whenever you shared a room with them. The two of you are definitely lapping up the attention though.  
Despite your popularity, today has gotten me wondering why I am actually associating with you. I wanted to make a good impression at this school, not hang around with a bunch of rule breakers like you! I cannot believe you got me into this. I never would have even considered what you’ve asked me to do before I met you!   
Today I had walked into the dormitory to find the four of you sitting on James’ bed actually reading! I never thought I’d see the day, which is saying something since I haven’t even known you for very long. I was about to ignore whatever it was you were doing and walk past to collapse onto my bed but you actually seemed excited to see me. ‘Remus! Just the person we need!’ Sirius had said with enthusiasm.   
I was stunned, why on Earth would you need me? I couldn’t ever be a help to anyone. ‘Ah, okay, why?’ I asked hesitantly, stopping in my tracks.  
‘Because you read! None of us can concentrate on any of these books, they’re huge!’ Sirius exclaimed.   
I smiled, ‘why are you reading them in the first place then?’   
‘Because we need to research transfiguration charms’ Peter said simply  
‘Okay why don’t you just ask Professor Mcgonagall?’ I questioned, I may read but I’m not better at transfiguration charms than Mcgonagall. You all ogled at me, as if it was the strangest thing in the world to suggest.  
‘Well obviously then we’d have to tell her what we’re doing’ James said  
‘Um, what are you doing? And why is it so bad you that can’t tell Mcgonagall’  
‘Our first prank’ you all said, your excitement becoming clear on your faces.  
‘Oh’. It’s not like the idea of it didn’t appeal to me. I’ve always had a streak of mischievousness in me but I want to make a good impression to all the professors and Dumbledore especially, getting myself detention in the first couple of weeks wouldn’t help my reputation with them. I also really want to make some friends, even if I don’t believe that would ever be possible, and maybe if I didn’t do this you would all start hating me. I couldn’t have my dormmates hating me, especially since it already seemed I’d made enemies with some of the Slytherin boys.  
‘Okay’ I made a decision. ‘What’s this prank you’re trying to pull off?’  
You gestured for me to join you on the bed and gathered around me with a buzz as you told me your grand plans. I’m sorry to tell you but I don’t how we’re going to make this work. It’s O.W.L level transfiguration you want to do and we’ve only had about five transfiguration lessons our whole lives. And it is sort of mean. Despite all of this, I still promised to help you for some reason. I suppose now my trips to the library will be even longer than they already are. I don’t really mind though because I have met someone very nice there, who sometimes studies with me. Her name is Lily Evans; we started talking because I was reading a book on the Great Goblin Rebellion of 1678 and she said was really interested in goblins and had done a lot of research on them before she came to Hogwarts. Well, she did say it wasn’t just goblins. Lily and her sister had been amazed by everything in the wizarding world as Lily was muggleborn. Apparently her sister was jealous that she didn’t get an acceptance letter too, which I guess must have disappointing for her. Lily and I could probably talk together for hours about all the things we were studying. Madame Pince gets annoyed if we talk too much though. Despite Lily’s kindness towards me, she always seemed to scoff if she ever saw any of you. She definitely wasn’t one of the girls always whispering about you and wondering the best way to ask you out. She said you were irresponsible and immature and she feels sorry that I have to share a dorm with you. I just think it’s because she doesn’t really know you. I think she actually has quite a bit in common with the three of you.  
She started questioning why I was looking at the transfiguration books for fifth years when I was in the library today after talking to you. I tried to tell her I was just really interested in food transformation for… reasons but of course she didn’t buy it.   
‘This is something to do with those boys Potter and Black isn’t it? You share a dorm with them, they’ve coerced you into being a marauder like them!’ she said, annoyed.   
‘A marauder?’ I raised an eyebrow at her ‘you think they’re that bad?’   
‘Yes! All they want to do is cause trouble! I don’t think you should hang out with them too much Remus.’ I’m the one you shouldn’t be hanging out with, I’m the dangerous one, I privately thought.  
‘They’ve actually been very nice to me’  
‘Really?’ It was her turn to raise an eyebrow at me ‘the only time I see them talking to you is when they want you to do their homework for them’  
‘Well they talk to me a lot more when you’re not around then, they might like to cause mischief but I really do think they’re good people’   
‘Okay then’ she said, standing up ‘I just don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into’  
‘Lily, you know them less than I do’   
‘Okay, okay’ she put up her hands in surrender ‘I’ve got to go talk to Alice about her history of magic assignment, I’ll see you later’ she walked out of the old oak doors of the library.  
I sighed, closing my book. I don’t know why I suddenly felt so defensive of you. I guess you really had grown on me. I already didn’t like people saying bad things about you.  
But maybe Lily was right, I really don’t know what I’m getting myself into with you four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Remus being friends is my absolute favourite thing, I love them.  
> Also I just wanted to say that a lot of my inspiration for these characters comes from two super great fanfictions, The Shoebox Project and Casting Moonshadows, they're amazing, go read them if you haven't!


	5. Pranks and Spiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marauders pull their first prank (there's spiders beware)

October 25th 1971  
To Sirius, James and Peter  
After weeks of working on spells and digging through transfiguration textbooks, we finally got there. Our first prank was born. None of us could keep the premature grins off our faces and we made our way down to the Great Hall for dinner today. We made sure to come early so as not to miss any of the chaos which meant there were not many students around when we arrived although I could already see some teachers shooting us confused glances from the staff table. One of the few people in the Hall already was Lily and I surprised to see that she was sitting at the Slytherin table with Snape. I couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed as Snape had been so mean to me over recent weeks. I noticed James was glancing over at them with a, dare I say, jealous expression. Sirius also noticed this and elbowed James in the ribs. The scuffle was short lived however as excitement began to bubble in our chests as more and more students arrived in the Hall. We had made sure everything would go perfectly, Peter and James had snuck down to the kitchens this morning to figure out what food would be served for dinner, which the house elves were of course, more than happy to show you and charm it, which had to be done a bit more secretly. I had been researching transfiguration activation spells that would ensure that the food would only transfigure at dinnertime when all the students were seated, and ready to eat. I won’t say they weren’t difficult, definitely above new first year level but I was confident we would be able to pull it off, especially with each other’s help.   
Now as we all sat down, with grins spreading across our faces I began to get nervous, not only about the prank not working correcting, which there was a high chance of happening, but also what would happen if the teachers found out that it was the four of us that were the culprits. How long would we be in detention for? And worse than just detention, what would they do to me? It had only been a few weeks and I was already causing mayhem, would they realise it was a mistake to ever let me in? The excitement radiating from you guys around me fortunately distracted me from those thoughts. More and more students began piling into the hall and once everyone was seated, the dishes of food started to magically appear from the kitchens. Everything seemed normal enough, except for my heart rate, which was rather fast for my liking, until students started dishing the food onto their plates. The casseroles, chicken, peas, fish and anything else you could hope to eat transformed into everything you would hope not to eat. Huge spiders began crawling madly across everyone’s plates. Screams erupted from every corner of the hall, even a few from the staff table. I couldn’t help laughter running out of my mouth and you three were also clearly enjoying yourselves, maybe a little too much. People started turning to us, spotting our far too gleeful expressions, counteracting the looks of terror on every other face in the room. We quickly scrambled to put on concerned expressions so as not to draw any attention from the teachers. They started yelling for order, telling everyone to calm down and that everything would be put back into order. Professors Mcgonagall and Flitwick began to madly try to charm everything back to its original state. Spiders had begun crawling up people’s arms and despite the best efforts from teachers, the panic was not subsiding.   
“Don’t worry they can’t hurt you! They’re magically animated, they can’t do any real harm!’ Yelled Professor Flitwick.   
I guess that’s pretty hard to believe when you have ten spiders crawling on your torso. We had of course made sure the spiders couldn’t actually do any damage, we didn’t want to hurt people, just scare them. Eventually all the spiders were either vanished or transfigured back into food by the teachers or sixth and seventh years. Professor Mcgonagall had a look of pure anger on her face. ‘This is it’ I thought ‘I’m done for’.   
‘Whoever did this’ she yelled, while still soundly oddly calm ‘Will have detention for longer than they even thought was possible and will lose a hundred and fifty points for their house!’  
‘They should lose more than that’ a third year Ravenclaw murmured.’  
The four of us tried to look as calm and innocent as possible. Who would suspect a couple of first years to do something like this after all?   
‘If you don’t own up right this minute, it will be two hundred and fifty’ Mcgonagall said, she scanned the crowd of students, who were still standing, shocked by their tables, for guilty faces. She seemed to realise that nobody was going to own up and that she had expected that ‘We will find out who did this and they will pay for it but please everybody sit down and enjoy your food, we will ensure nothing like this happens again’.   
Everyone cautiously sat back down to their food but most people still seemed to scared to actually eat anything, still glancing around to see who had caused the panic. We also tried to look worried about eating, even though we knew the food was perfectly safe. James almost spit out his pumpkin juice from laughter, which people seemed to take as proof that the food still had some sort of spider essence in it. Mcgonagall had gone to speak to the house elves but we had made sure they wouldn’t tell anyone that we were down there and they weren’t ones to break promises and we already had a range of excuses made up for if they did let anything slip to her. Eventually students started wandering back to their common rooms or the library, still chattering about the prank. We grinned at each other. Mission accomplished.   
I told you guys that I was going to the library to study for the upcoming charms test and we went in our different directions. I was ambushed as I entered the library, by Lily, who was glaring at me with her arms crossed. She looked positively scary.  
‘I know it was you’ she said accusingly. I sighed. I knew I couldn’t get out of it.   
‘Can you please not tell anyone?’ I pleaded.   
‘I don’t know why I shouldn’t, that was a horrible thing to do.’  
‘No one got hurt, it was a bit of fun’ I protested.  
‘Maybe to you, but people have phobias of spiders, you shouldn’t play with people’s fears.’ She looked at me pointedly.   
Wow, Lily could really make someone feel bad. ‘Okay yeah you’re probably right’ I surrendered  
‘Yes I am right, but I won’t tell anyone, you should be thankful I like you so much, maybe I should just blame it all on that Black and Potter, I know they must have helped.’  
‘Yeah they did, but don’t turn them in either, we didn’t do it to hurt or scare anyone, everyone will find it funny tomorrow.’  
She still looked pretty outraged. ‘Fine I’m not telling anyone, but how did you do it?’   
I wasn’t expecting that. ‘What?’   
‘How did you do it?’ She repeated ‘That was very complex spellwork’  
I was surprised, she was the smartest person in our year, I thought she would have known exactly how it was done. We sat down on one of the couches near the history section, her sitting crossed-legged facing me, always ready to learn new magic, even if she didn’t approve of it.  
‘It actually wasn’t too hard, once we’d figured out how to do it; you just have to put an animal transfiguration charm on one of the dishes from each table, which is sort of hard to get right. Then you charm the rest of the food to react to that spell, that’s why all the spiders from each plate were identical’  
‘Oh how could I have not noticed that’ she said sarcastically.   
I smiled, ‘Yeah, so they were all the same because they came from the same spell. We then had to put a timer spell on the food so it would only transfigure once a certain event had happened at a particular time’  
‘Everyone being in the Great Hall at dinner.’ Lily provided.   
I nodded. ‘Right, so once we had perfected those spells, James and Peter just had to sneak down to the kitchens, see what the food was going to be, put the charms on it and voila’  
Lily actually looked impressed, an expression I had never seen her wear before. ‘That sounds pretty hard to do Lupin’   
‘Yeah, well James would tell you it was just his natural intelligence and talent but I think it was more to do with those fifth year transfiguration books’ I said.   
‘Ugh, Potter, what a loser’, she rolled her eyes.   
Back in the common room, you were all discussing how well the prank had gone, revelling in the reactions from the other students.  
‘Did you see Mclaggen’s face’ James was saying ‘He was pissing himself!’   
I joined you on Peter’s bed, Frank shooting us furtive glances, there was no doubt he knew it was us.   
‘So you think it made a good enough first impression, do you?’ I said.  
‘Definitely’ James grinned ‘We will be known among the entire school as the greatest pranksters ever to roam these halls’ he said with a flourish  
‘They don’t even know it was us mate’ Peter put in.  
‘Well…still’ James said, unable to look unhappy.   
Sirius high fived me. ‘You can’t ever say we don’t want you around now, Remus, we never could have done anything like that without you.’   
‘Oh so all you want me for is to read transfiguration books for you?’ I joked, but really, warmth was blossoming in my chest, spreading through me. For the first time in my life, I felt like more than just a burden, like maybe I could actually mean something to someone. Like I could be wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I realising this format is not working and it's very weird to speak to someone in a letter in third person? Yes. Am I going to keep doing it anyway and hope it works out? Yes.


End file.
